So apparently they can charge me fifty fucking pounds to give me a copy of my medical records from a one day visit to hospital within the past month.  Fucking great.  I DON'T HAVE FIFTY FUCKING QUID.  The letter says I can go in and view my records free, but I don't know whether I'm allowed to make copies myself or what. Not to mention I'm somewhat terrified of going in myself because I don't want to meet any of the people involved in my care.  I'm scared of going back to the fucking hospital at all.  Partly 'cause of my memory gaps, so I won't know if anyone I'm talking to was someone that was there.  It's hard to explain why but that makes me feel horrifically vulnerable and exposed and weird.

So I don't know what I'm going to do now.