I just sent an e-mail requesting my medical records from the hospital, hopefully to the right person at the trust. Here goes nothing. I really hope I manage to follow through with this.  I'm really scared that when/if I drop back into depression again I won't be able to deal with any of it. I still need to visit Mind or someone and get advice on how to proceed.  I still need to do a lot of things.  I still need to clean the kitchen and the bathroom floor before I can go to bed, 'cuz my flat inspection's in the morning.  I tidied away all the washing up, but it still needs cleaning.  I procrastinated all evening and now I'm in a ton of pain and exhausted.  Gee, who saw that coming? Garden's still really overgrown too. And I haven't sorted my rent money.  And I'm not sure what to tell them.  Arg.  I haven't eaten properly today, just frosties, but I don't want a pot noodle or a tin of fruit cocktail and they're pretty much all I have in, other than dry pasta, but I don't have anything clean to cook or eat that in and I can't face cooking right now anyway.  I think the not eating properly is part of the reason for suddenly feeling crappy a little while ago. I'm all weak and shaky feeling.  And hurting. A lot. But that's cause of all the tidying and vacuuming I did earlier.  I want to go to bed. I won't be able to sleep for ages 'cause I hurt. I will in fact probably have a shitty night's sleep entirely.  My period's turned up which always exacerbates my pain as well.  And I'm going to have to get up several hours early tomorrow because they're coming any time between 10am and 5pm. Super helpful.  Might sleep in clothes so they won't walk in on me naked if I fail to wake up in time.  I really hurt.  Wahwahfuckingwah. Go clean the kitchen.